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Changing Those Problem People (part 2) - Building a collaborative plan to change personal behavior

Written by: Ralph Twombly
Published: June 2010

Collaboration is described by Wikipedia as a process where two or more people or organizations working together in an intersection of common goals — for example, an intellectual endeavor that is creative in nature - by sharing knowledge, learning and building consensus.

Last month I introduced the first of three articles on changing the behaviors of problem people.  The feedback I received from you was that while it tried to be as detailed a possible it was clear that people wanted more information and ideas. I will try to do more and better this month as I tackle the concept of Building a collaborative plan to change personal behavior.  If you want to go back and look at last month's article around creating personal tension for change you can select this link and it will bring you to the web page and article. http://aprioritylearning.com/articles/creating_awareness_disruptive_employee_behavior_may2010.php

A Key Concept - Lets start with a concept that I think most leaders believe; if a person takes ownership for their own growth and development there is a much better chance that the person will be successful in that growth and development.  Conversely if you (the manager) design a development and growth plan for someone else, the likelihood that there will be a successful process is minimal.  So, it just makes sense for people to have a strong voice in their own change when it comes to personal behavior. 

This is the tricky part.  Many managers don't practice the skills to manage these kinds of tricky changes with their people.  Lots of things get in the way when you start asking questions like:
It is their job and not mine, why don't they just get it, and my favorite; I don't have time.  So here is a primer for all of you anxious managers who want to make personal behavior change collaboratively with your people.

It's gonna take some time (anything worthwhile usually does) so, build a plan with several follow-up meetings.

Example:

  1. Set up the first meeting to discuss the current behavior and the need to change to new behaviors.  Do your homework and be ready to discuss the behaviors you have witnessed and have an idea about what those behaviors should be.  As long as it is not an urgent change you will be fine.  If it is more urgent combine the next step with the first one.  Remember that your emotions will be critical to success.  If you are irritated, angry or disappointed it will show and the other person will read it.  This now becomes an emotional event.
  2. The second meeting might be to consider what the employee thinks is the right first steps are.  Consider the lasting effect vs. the onetime event.  Sometimes we think in events but habits are changed slowly and it usually take two or three weeks to create a new habit.  With the employee build a series of steps that piece-by-piece change the behavior. 
    1. For instance, if an employee has a problem getting to work on time;
      1. Help them determine what causes them to be habitually late,
      2. Find one thing to change in the pattern that will lead to on-time arrival and,
      3. Design with the employee a way change the pattern and immediately practice the new behavior.
  3. Once the behavior has changed (even a little bit) congratulate the employee and make sure that they know appreciate the change effort.  This can sound a bit condescending but you will be surprised at how employees want the approval of the manager.
  4. Restart the process at one and describe the behavior and take it to the next level of success.  This is where managers sometimes drop the ball.  You get a change started and you move on assuming that change is ingrained.  You won't need to sit on the issue forever but take it just a bit further than you think you should and you will be fine

Some tips to remember:

  1. People want the attention of the boss particularly when things go right so be quick to congratulate on improvement.
  2. Practice patience.  It is the most important aspect of good leadership. 
  3. People are like their fingerprints, complex and unique.  What works with one will not work with others so be a student of the human condition and those pain-in-the-butt folks will become a mystery to be solved.  I promise if you can't solve the mystery, another manager will.
  4. Connect with people.  If you are just working through a process to improve their performance they will feel it, and know it.  If however you are work with them to help make them successful and it becomes a partnership... you have a human connection.
  5. Get help.  If after all of your crafty and well intentioned work you cannot turn bad performance around, be strong enough to get the help you need. 
  6. Not all people are good fits for the job and sometimes we hire the wrong people.  I left this for last but I think we all know that we cannot make water into wine.  Just make sure that you get here after you have made sure the problem is not with your ability to collaborate for change.

If you want to take this concept one step further.  Good employees need your help and attention also.  If you work with a high performing employee using this same technique you may be surprised how much they will appreciate the extra time and energy you are giving them and will respond more quickly than the poor performer.

I will be back in July to talk to you about image building around the new personal behavior.  So, try it out and please send us a line to tell us how it went. 

Summer is Maine is the best of all worlds so please have a safe and fun June.

Best to all,




Ralph Twombly

Ralph Twombly

In the 20 years since starting Priority Learning, Ralph has facilitated countless learning experiences and has conducted training for thousands of managers and leaders. With over 30 years of leadership development and organizational development background and work, Ralph continues to build relationships with client companies all over the U.S.